These baths would be in either lard, olive oil, sweet oil, or liquid vaseline. They said that the baby should be covered from head to toe and then rubbed clean with “an old soft linen towel.” Now parents are advised to refrain from using oils or moisturisers on their babies until they’re at least a month old, and even then, I doubt full lard baths are prescribed very often. “If the mother worries greatly, or thoughtlessly “gets very angry” just before the nursing hour… [it] often produces not only colic in the babe, but many times throws him into severe convulsions.” So, after nine months of carrying a baby, childbirth, and then having a newborn, you just gotta chill out, simple. In reality, stress or anxiety will not transfer through the breastmilk into the baby – so, don’t worry, it’s okay to worry now and then! As it turns out, Guinness isn’t even that rich in iron, and it’s certainly not advised to be drunk during pregnancy or while nursing. They wrote: “Never hug and kiss [them], never let them sit in your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say good night. Shake hands with them in the morning.” Look, I’m not one to judge, but if you’re shaking hands with your kid in the morning then they’re gonna grow up to be a dickhead. Stranger still, parents were warned against giving their kids names that were too “soft”. An article wrote: “Do not try too much for softness. Names like Lenora Molloy simply lack backbone.” Apologies to any Lenoras or Molloys reading, I assume the author had a personal vendetta against someone with that name. This is what some parents did in the 1930s. The cage could also be used as a bed and had curtains to block the draft coming from being that high up, genius! Dr Walter W Sackett Jr went even further with a bold prediction, writing: “If we teach our offspring to expect everything to be provided on demand, we must admit the possibility of sewing the seeds of socialism.” Doctors thus advised parents (specifically mothers because… you know), to walk away from crying babies, and ignore them both night and day. At least we what to blame our hyper-capitalist societies on, it’s the socialist-resistant parenting strategies of the ’60s! These “remedies” were supposedly packaged in dainty bottles and given comforting names. This is the recipe: “Cadbury’s Cocoa Essence, made with equal parts of boiling water and fresh milk, slightly sweetened with lump sugar, is an admirable food for a delicate child. Bread and butter should be eaten with it.” I’m NGL, I probably would have loved this meal when I was a little kid. The book goes on to suggest a variety of solutions for this “filthy” habit: “The ends of the fingers and edges of the nails may be painted with a solution of aloes or quinine. In extreme cases, a splint may be placed on the anterior bend of the elbow, thus preventing the possibility of raising the hand to the mouth.” I’m not sure if essentially putting them into a splint is a beneficial way to stop them from sucking their thumbs… Henry Chavasse wrote: “If he be in a perambulator, he is cold and unsupported, looking the very picture of misery, seeking everywhere for test and comfort, and finding none.” He also said that they would mike a child stoop and cause them to be “crooked and round-shouldered.” It seems like Chavasse had a personal vendetta against prams because he also said this about them: They are a public nuisance, inasmuch as they are wheeled against and between people’s legs, and are a fruitful source of the breaking of shins, of the spraining of ankles, of the crushing of corns, and of the ruffling of tempers of the foot-passengers who unfortunately come within their reach." – This man was deffo wronged by a pram. Here’s what some advised: “Cereal should begin on the second or third day; strained vegetables at ten days; strained meats at fourteen days; fruit juice at three weeks; cod liver oil at four weeks; eggs at five weeks, sweets such as fruits, custard, and puddings at six weeks, and bacon and eggs at nine weeks.” For reference, doctors now advise weaning to begin at six months, and that salty food like bacon, or sugary foods like custard, puddings, and fruit juices shouldn’t be given to babies.
